lørdag 29. september 2007

When I met Kevin...

I had a really strange experience this summer. I worked with this boy, he was an extra at thr restaurant, just sixteen years old.
But we got along really well. Both of us were very happy with each others company, and very easily did we turn a dull shift into a carnival.

His name was not kevin, far from it. But without knowing how or why, he was kevin to me. Without thinking, I would say: "Kevin, could you please..." He looked at me with a funny face, said, "My name is Not Kevin!! I was confused, didn't know why I kept saying that - but it happened again and again.

After a while my "Kevin" started liking his new name, and i made up a story about how he was this musician called Kevin in his previous life, and in that same incarnation I had been his big sister. He loved the idea and we used to have a lot of fun with this "new reality" of ours.

Sometimes I wonder though. Could there be any truth to our little fantasy together? Have you ever met anyone for the first time, feeling you already know - all there is to know about them?

søndag 23. september 2007

My tattoo! UPDATED... The reason why.

This is the original drawing for my tattoo, it is on the back of my shoulder. it is my only one, and will remain my only one (If I don't tattoo some sunflowerseeds and breadcrumbs for my bird, haha!)

The reason why:

Right before I met my husband I had this dream:

I dreamt I was a bird with one broken wing. Don't know what these birds are called in english... I was seeing this from above, this bird sort of limping around not being able to fly.

Then I saw a little sparrow coming, he flew in and gave me something, seeds I think, to eat.

I interpreted this dream as someone, seeming small and insignificant, coming along and giving me something I needed.

And then this young wonderful boy entered my life and nurtured me back to inner beauty and confidence.
He is not "Sparrow" anymore. He is a falcon, strong enough to carry me on his back. But I will never forget little bird, and he always will be that, in his heart.

lørdag 22. september 2007

The wind in your sail... *A loveletter*

I want to be the wind in your sail, that carries you into the future.

I want to be a wave in the ocean, that gently rocks you to sleep.

The sun in your life, who makes you happy and warm.

I want to be a rose in your garden, that closes its petals around your dew.

I want to be a star in your mind, that brings you hope every day.

I want to be an oak in your forest, so that you can rest in my shadow,

the earth under your feet, so you can stand solid and firm.

I want to be a fire in your heart that never dies.

I want to be the wine on your lips, that makes you want to sing and dance.

For all of these things YOU are for ME!


fredag 21. september 2007

Everyday Nile

Most tourists think about one of two when they hear the words "The Nile". They think about pharaos and Baby Moses in the basket, that is ; stories and myths from the past.
Or they think about the Nile Cruise industry, floating hotels with bars and disco, and a stop once in a while to visit a temple or museum.

But for some people the Nile is every day, it is their life and their income. I talk about the motorboat men, that let you cross the Nile for a dollar. It is the sailboat-captains and their helpers. And finally the "Nile-police", who charges fines from anyone, because they hardly get paid at all.

They can look very relaxed there they sit on a bench or stand leaned to a wall, all day long, waiting for customers. But the truth is very different. Norwegians love the sun, but the teenager who stands there, hour after hour, with no shadow and only Nile water to drink, do you think HE enjoys it?

Probably he is worrying about his family at home. And probably it will be rice and bread for dinner again today.

I met a canadian woman once in Luxor. Very proudly she announced that she had avoided being fooled earlier that day, she had been on a two hour roundtrip with fellucca sailboat, and the boys on board had told her after that the price was 50 egyptian pounds (8 dollars) and she had refused, because in her Lonely Planet it said that the price ought to be just 20!

I found this very strange. 20 egyptian pounds for two men to share? To feed two families? I had a look in her travel guide, and there it said that 20 ENGLISH pounds would be a reasonable price....Well that's something a bit different.

There is a lot of gossiping about the boatpeople. They are looked down at, regarded as lowlife and treated like cattle. Well, a young man who has been out working from he was eight, to get his siblings through school, isn't only good enough in my eyes, he's got my deepest respect.

torsdag 20. september 2007

Sekhmet, divinity and female power

Sekhmet is the name of a female deity from ancient Egypt. With the slender body of a young woman and head of a lion, she represented the most fierce and powerful aspect of women, not the domesticated cat (Bastet) and not the nurturing cow (hathor) and not the sacred mother - (That's Isis, ECD!!) But the phusical, raw and strong woman. The wild beast in the feminine nature, the part inside us that urges us to protect our young with our life.

The famous female pharaoh Hatshepsut knew the power of woman. She wore a lions' tail as part of her regalia. Why shouldn't she, as well as any man, be able to wear the title "Divine ruler of the two lands?? (Upper and lower Egypt).

Woman, know that you as well have the right to the title "Divine ruler of your own life". Never see yourself as weak, because you are not. Never see yourself as small, you are not!

Take control. And keep Sekhmet in your hearts, as a reminder of your true nature.

søndag 16. september 2007

The peaceful month of RAMADAN...

Happy Ramadan, everyone... I have been reading a lot over the last few days about what norwegian people know about Ramadan. Not much. They think muslims starve themselves to please God. Well...

Closeness to God is absolutely part of the plan. Also to appreciate food, water, sex and more... not to take it for granted.

More than this, it is a month for peace. And you don't really starve, do you, when you get up around two in the afternoon and wait four hours and then have breakfast?

But it is a month for cleanness in all things. Avoid fighting and quarreling. Remember friends and relatives. Share. Avoid alcohol, and greed and jealousy. Be thankful for what you have: "All food tastes nice during Ramadan".

It is togetherness. The families gather in the evenings. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if we too had a little ramadan once in a while. Let's not smoke and curse. And let's think again before we rent that violent movie.

And let us try to show understanding and acceptance for other peoples ways and traditions. Make the world a little bit better.

So - HAPPY RAMADAN, no matter how you spend your days.

lørdag 15. september 2007

...And it seems he loves ME!!

I too had my share of disfunctional relationships. my first boyfriend was very religious and felt ashamed for wanting a woman. The second one needed a mother, and I mothered him for more than a year. Then he left me for a teenage girl.

The third one wanted me to be his "slut", we didn´t have anything to talk about in the daytime, and after eight months it was obvious that this wouldn´t work out.

Number four was the best and the worst in all ways, and the complete opposite of number three. We had EVERYTHING in common, but sadly just as friends. he turned out to be gay.

Then i met my husband. For a long time i suspected he was a hoax or a scam, Guys like that just don´t exist, i said. But now we´ve soon been together for three years, I have to face the truth: this guy thinks I am divine! He thinks I am fabulous! I am his EVERYTHING!

ME!! Who thought I was nothing!

i have to trust me to trust him. maybe one day I can feel I am divine and fabulous too - Thank you sweetheart for showing me - myself.

onsdag 12. september 2007

First Day of the Rest of my Life...

What is happening in my life right now? You are looking at a picture of my new workplace. Isn't she beautiful? She is called "Nordoytraal" and she is brand new.
They called me today and offered me the job! Wonderful! So - why would I want to work on a fishtrawler?

1. It is very well paid. Of course it has to be - you work from six o' clock in the morning until ten at night. But I want to save up, so it's perfect for me.

2. You are six weeks on board, and after you are six weeks off, doing whatever you want, and I want to be home in Egypt. Living in Northern Africa, earning my money from Norway, hallelujah.

I want to build a guesthouse in Egypt - A beautiful, small place where people can come and feel at home while they are awakening their memories of the Desert and the Nile. I hope to see my vision coming true... Soon!

mandag 10. september 2007

Use your female divine power!! Healing Circle...

Prayers and healing energy is a great and strong force...! Mother wolf calls her pack: Are you willing to help a sister in need?

My friend Maren needs your help. She is 24 years old and alone with a baby boy. She's been feeling ill for some time now. The tests show it is likely that she has a tumor in her kidneys.

Remember her in your dreams tonight and tomorrow night, send her healing love and positive energy...!

Do you think you can't or don't know how? Think about her with compassion, love and warmth, try to see her as healthy and strong...! See, you already did your job. Each and every one who helps makes a great difference!!

(And if you know of someone else that might need it, tell us and we'll do it again....)

Thank you in advance and namaste!!

Wind of Birth...

He has existed in the comfort of the spiritual realms for so long now. The thought of the tiny body waiting for him down there... terrifies him - and excites him.

How frustrating, to be a wise and creative soul, in that limited human body!

His best friend is standing right next to him. They communicate - not through voice but through energy. "How fabulous," he says, to be a wise and creative soul, with the opportunity to share those gifts with the world!

They are standing on the edge and the wind is getting stronger. One will go, and the other one will stay, though they will always be connected.

He closes his eyes and leans in. "Don't hesitate - reincarnate."

fredag 7. september 2007

Addicted to studying...

Well everyone's addicted to something, and my addiction is pretty harmless - I crave learning.
Actually, when I was a kid, it caused me a lot of trouble. As soon as I learned how to speak, I was after my mum and Dad, and all I said was What is this? Later: Why is that, where, who, when.... Mostly it was the neverending WHY...!!

My father thought it would be a good thing to teach me how to read, and he did, at the age of four and half... Whoops! There I was gone, I disappeared behind a book and for ten years they did not see my face...

They were really worried. All the other kids were out, playing hide and seek and climbing trees. I was bored to death every time they made me go out... The other kids didn't challenge my mind - so I preferred the books.

Thank God for school. There you are supposed to like books. Perfect. So I stayed in scool for 17 years, reading reading reading.... And there I find myself at 24, supposed to go out and work, live, and relate to other people..? (Who are you calling nerd? Me? Bookworm? Never!!)

I guess for a girl who read Gone by the wind by the age of eleven, there will always be a little Scarlett O'Hara in her heart. And know what? I am still reading! At the time being a very good norwegian novel and studying Egyptology on the side. Want to hear three different myths of creation , from ancient Egypt? Anyone? ... haha ... didn't think so.

I am really thankful for blogs though. They let me write out my inner life, and they let me READ a lot a lot about what is going on inside all of your heads... Thanks a lot everyone!

onsdag 5. september 2007

Happy Wedding Day...

Hey look at the calendar... The date there is the same as inside my ring! It is our wedding day, second anniversary...! Two years has passed since that wonderful and very strange day, when we got married, almost without any planning at all.

I remember it very clearly, even though I don't have a single picture from that day. What we wore, what your nieces wore... I remember you, holding on to my hand, you were a little nervous, but in your eyes I saw stars.

I knew I wanted to share my life with you, but had no idea how. And the stairs that we have climbed were really hard in the beginning... They are not anymore.

My love, I am really happy that we had the "for worse" first... Now it is finally time for us to enjoy the "for better"!!

xxxxx Eternal Love 595

tirsdag 4. september 2007

Evil Clowns Need Love Too...

Have you met them? These men who are incredibly intelligent and charming... and I suppose there are women like that too? Wonderful people - they are your perfect match in all areas and youthink: "Finally I found my soulmate!"
You are perfect together. He is also caring, loving and understanding. You feel safe. You open up. You lay your heart in his hand and if you're not careful, you become dependant of this person. Addicted to his attention, love and care. Then everything starts to slip a little bit.
He knows he has you... So he doesn't need to work so hard for it anymore. He knows you love him, so he doesn't have to be nice all the time.
This is the point where you start getting confused. Suddenly he changes? So what have you done wrong? This is also where your alarm should start ringing. Most women just goes on, pretending not to hear the alarm, they start to work to get back what they experienced in the beginning.
They try to please the partner as good as they can, sort out the misunderstandings, be "nice, nice, nice"... But instead it gets worse and worse, NOTHING works.
Once in a while you still see his charming old self. Specially when friends are present. But most of the time he is angry, jealous and controling. And it makes you sad, scared and feeling small.
And what have you done wrong, you know he is really good... because you saw him in the beginning, you KNOW he is really nice. Somewhere deep inside him he has a heart of gold.
I have ONE advice: Get out of there, girl!! He is empty, and what you saw in the beginning was an act. Maybe evil clowns need love too... But I am certainly not the one to give it to them!!

The blessings of being human...

Have you thought about how blessed we are, we who are incarnated in human bodies?
Feel the difference between running your hand over gravel and grass.
Feel how heavy it is to walk in sand.
Listen to the sound of arguing down on the local supermarket.
Watch lovers kiss.
Feel the nerves messaging to your brain when you cut your finger.
Enjoy your happiness.
The joy of dancing with someone.
Enjoy your sorrow of loss.
Take in the harmony of nature
Learn from children.
Teach your parents.
Stand still outside when it's raining.
Have a shower with your lover.
Donate money to a charity.
Ask for help.
Read a poem.
Make a new friend.

And you say you have nothing to live for??

søndag 2. september 2007

Do I need to leave my family?

Big family crisis. Me and my cousin have had big problems for years, having had to listen to how our aunts talk about the other one of us.

Finally we have had enough. We can't take it anymore. It should not be neccesary to teach grown-up ladies how it is bad to gossip and lie about their younger relatives? And how it is bad to just assume things without even asking us what is the truth... or how we feel?

Had a long talk with my cousin yesterday and got to hear how my relatives still regard me as a fat stubborn gum-chewing brat. Naive, thoughtless and lazy. it really really broke my heart. I am just so disappointed.

Maybe I have spent enough of my time trying to please them. Let them do their thing and I can do mine. If they can't see who and what I am, it should be THEIR problem, right?

Isn't it a bit strange that in Egypt I have parents, siblings, husband and nieces that have known me for around three years... and who love me and accept me for who I am? My Norwegian family have had 28 years to TRY and get to know me... Well, so far noone bothered.

I am sorry, but now... I'm living my own life.