Christmas Meditation

There is no limit to what you can concentrate upon when you meditate. A meditation is merely emptying your mind of everyday thoughts, and so you are allowing your subconcious mind and your higher self to speak, you are unlocking doors to your childhood memories and even past lives, after a while even humanity or the voice of God.

Some people simply meditate upon Nothing, Emptiness, Space, others have a mantra which they chant. You can also meditate upon pattern, spirits, nature phenomenon, the simpler the object the easier the concentration, and to come to a relaxed and inspired state of mind.

Yesterday, after christmas dinner, I went for a walk under the nearly-full moon and i meditated upon snow.

Snow is a wonderful carpet under which the earth can gather strength to achieve new growth in the spring. Like us, the souls, all snow crystals are unique, but equal. One snowflake seems not important, yet it is one of natures most beautiful masterpieces. Together the snowflakes makes a mighty mass that can give blessings or disasters.

One warm breath and the snowflake is gone - as is the human body. But it doesn't disappear --- it merely transforms into a drop of life-giving water, which is it's true nature. So do not fear death, you are simply part og the cycle. Next winter, you can fall as another snowflake - if you so choose.

My name is independence

(Thank you Azrael for the idea for this post...)

I always had cats. I got my first one when I was four, at the same time I got a baby brother --- so I had something to be busy with, and I WAS busy. poor Martin was dressed up in babys clothes and carried around, always patient.

After this I have had a few cats. Tertit and Siri when I was a student. Sirianna and Tutti when I was a chef's apprentice. Frida, Frank and Marley when I was living with a freind two years ago.

My cat is my best friend. He is there not because I command him to but because he appreciates me. He is independent. He is wise, He teaches me trancendental medidation. He is divine. He reminds me that I am divine.

Marley on the picture says: "Put that stupid camera away and cuddle me!!"

Time Travel

It has been a dream for human beings "through all times"... How can we travel in time?

But I wonder... How can we NOT?

Because we have left the harbour and are sailing down the stream of time, second by second... I would not wish to travel faster at all.

I study the views on the banks of the world as I float by. I wawe and smile to others and invite some of them on board. We enjoy each others company. Some stay and others go.

Sometimes the stream rocks the boat in a soothing and comforting way. Sometimes we have to hold on for life or row to clear from rocks or banks.

But we move. We travel in time. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

The WORD --- the most sacred of magic!

Take your time today to view this wonderful video, be inspired by the wisdom in the word and the beauty in the pictures. From ancient times the word, the power of voice and the art of eloquence has been a way to contact God within and without, and an evidence of our divinity.

Wake up and reach for your inner sun. Sing, speak and chant --- Be blessed---

(Thank you Eira!!)

Expand!!

Close your eyes so you can see clearer
Lie down so you can rise.
Be alone so you can understand others.
Accept that you are a pupil, so that you can teach others.
See that you are small so you can expand.

What do you know about me??

And what do your friends, family and co-workers know about you?? I have thought a lot about this lately, obviously my family are those who know least about me - to my surprise!

I have a female cousin my age, and we talked about this the other day - I was surprised to learn what kind of impression most members of my family have of me: Immature, lazy, impulsive and irresponsible!

It should not matter to me of course. But it does!! I was really heartbroken! How can I be irresponsible, ME, who work so hard to achieve my goals?

It seems THAT is exactly the problem! I should not chase my dreams, I should marry a norwegian farmer, settle for a 9-5 job, and raise 2,7 children, who will grow up to do exactly the same thing. I should SETTLE!

I am sorry, but for me that is not living, it is just surviving. It is not happiness, it is mediocricy.

What do you know about me? And why are you so eager to judge me? In the end it is not importand what your impression of me is. I will continue to pursue my goals - and I wish one day you'll do the same.

"Heimweh..."

Heimweh, it means longing for home. And that I do. I long for my beautiful new homeland Egypt. It is not always easy or nice to be far from everything and everyone you love.

I have now been on this trawler for almost five weeks, and on friday I go back to Norway. I was supposed to go directly to Egypt, but now I learned that I don't get paid for this trip until after christmas. So nothing to do but staying in Norway, work, work, work.

We are soon there, my husband and I. When we met three years ago, none of us owned anything --- now we have a place to live and a car, the one thing we need now is something to make an income from for both of us to stay full time in Egypt.

But it will come! We have come so far, so we'll hang in there and make it for ourselves, a safe and good life for our selves and our future family...

"Wahistini moot, habibi...!"

Sunflower Morning

An early morning by the sunflower field. I was sitting on a log in quiet conversation with my fiancé. I had his jacket over my shoulders, the air was a little chilly. We watched the sunrise. We should have been in bed a long time ago.

An old farmer with bare feet was working in the field. He was weeding his plants. After a while my friend shouted to him: "Hey grandfather, I can take my shoes off and help you with your work?" The old man shook his head friendly. It was not neccesary. But he could really use a cigarette?

He got his cigarette and two pounds to buy a packet. They always said to me : don't give anyone the finger they will steal the whole hand". But the young man who had so little, gave what he had to someone who had nothing. That morning he taught me how to share..

Morning prayer

Thank you for universal love and light
that flows into me and through me
this day.
Let me be a blessing to the people I meet on my path.
Let my heart be open,
so that I can touch the hearts of others.
Let me be in touch with
the streams of my subconcious,
And the spheres of my higher self.
Today is a day where I will be ONE
with the waters of my emotions,
the wind of inspiration,
The fire of devotion and
My heritage from earth.
Thank you for this day of oneness.
For like all of us are raindrops
that reflect different colours in the raibow,
We are also all part
of the ONE mighty ocean.

Incarnation - Karnak

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PART ONE: WE'LL MEET AGAIN.

2005. Alone in a taxi to Karnak. I didn't understand why myself, alone to Karnak? Been there before. This was fourth time. Was I really so bored that I had to go there again? To a sight I had seen, already twice as many times as Vigelandsparken, the sculpturepark back home in Norway.

But never before alone. Always as a part of a group of tourists, who followed the guide much like a flock of ducklings behind mothers tail. I found Karnak temple strangely empty. I stood alone in front of the first pylon between the royal criosphinxes, og and the emotions came flowing like a giant wave.

I gasped for breath and the lump in my troath dissolved into tears. The river from my eyes were seemingly endless as the Nile. An old man came walking towards me in the hypostyle hall. I didn't want to see him, wanted to be alone, but he said, "Excuse me, lady, I just want to pray?" He placed my right hand over his heart,and now both of us were crying.

He bowed respectfully and left me.



Part 2: LEAVING

Thousands of years earlier. Karnak is my home and my work. Karnak is my life. Both sunrise and sunset belongs to the mighty Amun, and we are priviliged who are chosen to serve Him on this Most Glorious of Places, Amuns Home on Earth. I am a craftsman, and so are my brothers. We have given our lives to Karnak, praise to Amun-

Pharao is dead. Yhe young king calls himself Son of the Sun. It is smoke, ruins and revolution. We are denied to serve Amun. Don't they understand that denying Amun is to deny life? Why would we want to live a few short years in i falseness just to be devoured by Ammut, doomed because our heart would be too heavy for Maat.

We are bringing Amun with us, hiding from the chaos. We will serve him in secret. Just the youngest of us, the architect, was not able to leave his works. My eyes are dry, my soul is a dead desert. But my brothers say; if you ever lay your eyes on Karnak again, your tears will flow..., because the home of your soul has been ruined by vandals.

For Ever and Never

She is standing on a grave with white roses in her hands. She kneels down in the wet snow and places the flowers in front of his name, and says to herself... "It is half of my soul down there, down in the ground, under this stone. Her skirt is soon soaked, she gets wet and cold but doesn't really feel it, her spirit is with him, that is lost and forever gone.

She feels sleepy and maybe she's dreaming when his warm hands touches her shoulders and his familiar voice rings in her ears. "You've been sitting here for hours. Get up. I am not here waiting for you".

Nobody there of course. But now she felt how cold and stiff she were, and started slowly to walk towards home. A warm shower and a nap was just what she needed.

He came to her again in the sleep. She knew he was just an illusion, but she couldn't stop her tears from running down her face. He smiled at her and stroked her forehead, she felt that the sun had entered the room and filled her with light and comforting love.

"I know you feel like giving up," he said lovingly, "but now that I have left, it is even more important that you stay, and that you are strong. Now I need you to live for both of us. I will give you my thoughts, my skills and my strength. Well that is a real good artillery I tell you...!"

He walked out of the room backwards and again she was alone, not so sure now that it had been a dream. But she felt certain that she had received a message from him, the one who was hers, --- forever and never again---

The Train Journey

We didn't know that you could fly from Cairo to luxor in less than an hour. For the sake of Allah - it was our first time in Egypt, and let's face it, not far from the first time outside our own home country.

But our travellers guide had a nice picture of the Ramses Train Station so this was where we was headed in the pitch black Cairo night. If only our taxi driver spoke English! You should think that would be important in his profession? In the end I was reading desperately in my mini dictionary ... and this is how my first Egyptian Arabic words were : "Il mahatta...!! Mahatta Ramsis!!"

The sun rose over Egypt as we found our second class seats. Second class on purpose, we didn't want to see hoyty toyty tourists, I was there for Egypt, and Egypt was what I got.

The hours rolled by along with the landscape, and I got to see what Egypt looks like outside of the pyramids area and Nile Hilton. I saw farmers working in the fields much as they did hundreds and thousands of years ago. I saw the tractors and the trucks of the sugarcane industry.

I was brought "lep" and "shai" and slept for an hour on the shoulder of my friend, with my dream more outside the window than behind my closed eyelids.

I think I had imagined going to a country that was some kind of a museum, but here by the railway it was - more alive than ever. We went through cities that I never heard the name of before and where tourists very seldom go. Yet hundreds of thousands lived here; it is everyday Egypt.

After nine hours of shifting landscape we went off the train in Luxor and walked up Sharia Mahatta. "Finally we're here", my friend said. I just smiled to him, and I knew, that our travels had just started.

Story about Dave...Just for fun!!

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, 'You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.'

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,

'OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?'

'No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.'

So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's
door and Tom Cruise shouts, 'Dave! What's happening? Great to see you!
Come on in for a beer!

Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was
just lucky.

'No, no, just name anyone else,' Dave says.

'President Bush,' his boss quickly retorts.

'Yup,' Dave says, 'Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington.'

And off they go.

At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and
his boss over, saying, 'Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way toa
meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of
coffee first and catch up.'

Well, the boss is much shaken by now but still not totally convinced.


After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to
Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

'The Pope,' his boss replies.'

'Sure!' says Dave. 'I've known the Pope for years.'

So off they fly to Rome.

Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican when
Dave says, 'This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among
all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just
go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope.'

He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican. Sure enough,
half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by
the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack
and is surrounded by paramedics.

Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him,

'What happened?'

His boss looks up and says, 'It was the final straw - you and the
Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the
f***'s that on the balcony with Dave?'



(Story from Luxor4u humour section... Thanks bigken!!)

Crossroads...

Time itself consists of crossroads.. It is not like the road in the wood dividing, it is multiple choises all along. Every day, actually. A lot of us live by routine and don't even notice our options. We eat the same food, go to the same job, talk to the same people, read the same newspaper.

Although our options are many, and colourful as the rainbow, we tend to prefer the same kind of jam and cheese every morning.

Some of us are more alert and aware of our choises. And some crossroads are so great that no-one can avoid them, those situations that can turn your life upside down.

So here you are, you can go this way or that way, - and sometimes you know that this is a choice made only once, once you come to your conclusion... you can't ever go back. It is so easy to get paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice.

Make a desicion!! Follow your heart and go down the road it chooses. After all the only wrong choice you can really make, is NOT CHOOSING at all...!

Have a wonderful day everyone! Choose light into your lives!!

When I met Kevin...

I had a really strange experience this summer. I worked with this boy, he was an extra at thr restaurant, just sixteen years old.
But we got along really well. Both of us were very happy with each others company, and very easily did we turn a dull shift into a carnival.

His name was not kevin, far from it. But without knowing how or why, he was kevin to me. Without thinking, I would say: "Kevin, could you please..." He looked at me with a funny face, said, "My name is Not Kevin!! I was confused, didn't know why I kept saying that - but it happened again and again.

After a while my "Kevin" started liking his new name, and i made up a story about how he was this musician called Kevin in his previous life, and in that same incarnation I had been his big sister. He loved the idea and we used to have a lot of fun with this "new reality" of ours.

Sometimes I wonder though. Could there be any truth to our little fantasy together? Have you ever met anyone for the first time, feeling you already know - all there is to know about them?

My tattoo! UPDATED... The reason why.

This is the original drawing for my tattoo, it is on the back of my shoulder. it is my only one, and will remain my only one (If I don't tattoo some sunflowerseeds and breadcrumbs for my bird, haha!)

The reason why:

Right before I met my husband I had this dream:

I dreamt I was a bird with one broken wing. Don't know what these birds are called in english... I was seeing this from above, this bird sort of limping around not being able to fly.

Then I saw a little sparrow coming, he flew in and gave me something, seeds I think, to eat.


I interpreted this dream as someone, seeming small and insignificant, coming along and giving me something I needed.

And then this young wonderful boy entered my life and nurtured me back to inner beauty and confidence.
He is not "Sparrow" anymore. He is a falcon, strong enough to carry me on his back. But I will never forget little bird, and he always will be that, in his heart.

The wind in your sail... *A loveletter*

I want to be the wind in your sail, that carries you into the future.

I want to be a wave in the ocean, that gently rocks you to sleep.

The sun in your life, who makes you happy and warm.

I want to be a rose in your garden, that closes its petals around your dew.

I want to be a star in your mind, that brings you hope every day.

I want to be an oak in your forest, so that you can rest in my shadow,

the earth under your feet, so you can stand solid and firm.

I want to be a fire in your heart that never dies.

I want to be the wine on your lips, that makes you want to sing and dance.

For all of these things YOU are for ME!

I LOVE YOU A.O.K!!!

Everyday Nile

Most tourists think about one of two when they hear the words "The Nile". They think about pharaos and Baby Moses in the basket, that is ; stories and myths from the past.
Or they think about the Nile Cruise industry, floating hotels with bars and disco, and a stop once in a while to visit a temple or museum.

But for some people the Nile is every day, it is their life and their income. I talk about the motorboat men, that let you cross the Nile for a dollar. It is the sailboat-captains and their helpers. And finally the "Nile-police", who charges fines from anyone, because they hardly get paid at all.

They can look very relaxed there they sit on a bench or stand leaned to a wall, all day long, waiting for customers. But the truth is very different. Norwegians love the sun, but the teenager who stands there, hour after hour, with no shadow and only Nile water to drink, do you think HE enjoys it?

Probably he is worrying about his family at home. And probably it will be rice and bread for dinner again today.

I met a canadian woman once in Luxor. Very proudly she announced that she had avoided being fooled earlier that day, she had been on a two hour roundtrip with fellucca sailboat, and the boys on board had told her after that the price was 50 egyptian pounds (8 dollars) and she had refused, because in her Lonely Planet it said that the price ought to be just 20!

I found this very strange. 20 egyptian pounds for two men to share? To feed two families? I had a look in her travel guide, and there it said that 20 ENGLISH pounds would be a reasonable price....Well that's something a bit different.

There is a lot of gossiping about the boatpeople. They are looked down at, regarded as lowlife and treated like cattle. Well, a young man who has been out working from he was eight, to get his siblings through school, isn't only good enough in my eyes, he's got my deepest respect.

Sekhmet, divinity and female power

Sekhmet is the name of a female deity from ancient Egypt. With the slender body of a young woman and head of a lion, she represented the most fierce and powerful aspect of women, not the domesticated cat (Bastet) and not the nurturing cow (hathor) and not the sacred mother - (That's Isis, ECD!!) But the phusical, raw and strong woman. The wild beast in the feminine nature, the part inside us that urges us to protect our young with our life.

The famous female pharaoh Hatshepsut knew the power of woman. She wore a lions' tail as part of her regalia. Why shouldn't she, as well as any man, be able to wear the title "Divine ruler of the two lands?? (Upper and lower Egypt).

Woman, know that you as well have the right to the title "Divine ruler of your own life". Never see yourself as weak, because you are not. Never see yourself as small, you are not!

Take control. And keep Sekhmet in your hearts, as a reminder of your true nature.

The peaceful month of RAMADAN...

Happy Ramadan, everyone... I have been reading a lot over the last few days about what norwegian people know about Ramadan. Not much. They think muslims starve themselves to please God. Well...

Closeness to God is absolutely part of the plan. Also to appreciate food, water, sex and more... not to take it for granted.

More than this, it is a month for peace. And you don't really starve, do you, when you get up around two in the afternoon and wait four hours and then have breakfast?

But it is a month for cleanness in all things. Avoid fighting and quarreling. Remember friends and relatives. Share. Avoid alcohol, and greed and jealousy. Be thankful for what you have: "All food tastes nice during Ramadan".

It is togetherness. The families gather in the evenings. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if we too had a little ramadan once in a while. Let's not smoke and curse. And let's think again before we rent that violent movie.

And let us try to show understanding and acceptance for other peoples ways and traditions. Make the world a little bit better.

So - HAPPY RAMADAN, no matter how you spend your days.

...And it seems he loves ME!!

I too had my share of disfunctional relationships. my first boyfriend was very religious and felt ashamed for wanting a woman. The second one needed a mother, and I mothered him for more than a year. Then he left me for a teenage girl.

The third one wanted me to be his "slut", we didn´t have anything to talk about in the daytime, and after eight months it was obvious that this wouldn´t work out.

Number four was the best and the worst in all ways, and the complete opposite of number three. We had EVERYTHING in common, but sadly just as friends. he turned out to be gay.

Then i met my husband. For a long time i suspected he was a hoax or a scam, Guys like that just don´t exist, i said. But now we´ve soon been together for three years, I have to face the truth: this guy thinks I am divine! He thinks I am fabulous! I am his EVERYTHING!

ME!! Who thought I was nothing!

i have to trust me to trust him. maybe one day I can feel I am divine and fabulous too - Thank you sweetheart for showing me - myself.

First Day of the Rest of my Life...

What is happening in my life right now? You are looking at a picture of my new workplace. Isn't she beautiful? She is called "Nordoytraal" and she is brand new.
They called me today and offered me the job! Wonderful! So - why would I want to work on a fishtrawler?

1. It is very well paid. Of course it has to be - you work from six o' clock in the morning until ten at night. But I want to save up, so it's perfect for me.

2. You are six weeks on board, and after you are six weeks off, doing whatever you want, and I want to be home in Egypt. Living in Northern Africa, earning my money from Norway, hallelujah.

I want to build a guesthouse in Egypt - A beautiful, small place where people can come and feel at home while they are awakening their memories of the Desert and the Nile. I hope to see my vision coming true... Soon!

Use your female divine power!! Healing Circle...

Prayers and healing energy is a great and strong force...! Mother wolf calls her pack: Are you willing to help a sister in need?

My friend Maren needs your help. She is 24 years old and alone with a baby boy. She's been feeling ill for some time now. The tests show it is likely that she has a tumor in her kidneys.

Remember her in your dreams tonight and tomorrow night, send her healing love and positive energy...!

Do you think you can't or don't know how? Think about her with compassion, love and warmth, try to see her as healthy and strong...! See, you already did your job. Each and every one who helps makes a great difference!!

(And if you know of someone else that might need it, tell us and we'll do it again....)

Thank you in advance and namaste!!

Wind of Birth...

He has existed in the comfort of the spiritual realms for so long now. The thought of the tiny body waiting for him down there... terrifies him - and excites him.

How frustrating, to be a wise and creative soul, in that limited human body!

His best friend is standing right next to him. They communicate - not through voice but through energy. "How fabulous," he says, to be a wise and creative soul, with the opportunity to share those gifts with the world!

They are standing on the edge and the wind is getting stronger. One will go, and the other one will stay, though they will always be connected.

He closes his eyes and leans in. "Don't hesitate - reincarnate."

Addicted to studying...

Well everyone's addicted to something, and my addiction is pretty harmless - I crave learning.
Actually, when I was a kid, it caused me a lot of trouble. As soon as I learned how to speak, I was after my mum and Dad, and all I said was What is this? Later: Why is that, where, who, when.... Mostly it was the neverending WHY...!!

My father thought it would be a good thing to teach me how to read, and he did, at the age of four and half... Whoops! There I was gone, I disappeared behind a book and for ten years they did not see my face...

They were really worried. All the other kids were out, playing hide and seek and climbing trees. I was bored to death every time they made me go out... The other kids didn't challenge my mind - so I preferred the books.

Thank God for school. There you are supposed to like books. Perfect. So I stayed in scool for 17 years, reading reading reading.... And there I find myself at 24, supposed to go out and work, live, and relate to other people..? (Who are you calling nerd? Me? Bookworm? Never!!)

I guess for a girl who read Gone by the wind by the age of eleven, there will always be a little Scarlett O'Hara in her heart. And know what? I am still reading! At the time being a very good norwegian novel and studying Egyptology on the side. Want to hear three different myths of creation , from ancient Egypt? Anyone? ... haha ... didn't think so.

I am really thankful for blogs though. They let me write out my inner life, and they let me READ a lot a lot about what is going on inside all of your heads... Thanks a lot everyone!

Happy Wedding Day...

Hey look at the calendar... The date there is the same as inside my ring! It is our wedding day, second anniversary...! Two years has passed since that wonderful and very strange day, when we got married, almost without any planning at all.

I remember it very clearly, even though I don't have a single picture from that day. What we wore, what your nieces wore... I remember you, holding on to my hand, you were a little nervous, but in your eyes I saw stars.

I knew I wanted to share my life with you, but had no idea how. And the stairs that we have climbed were really hard in the beginning... They are not anymore.

My love, I am really happy that we had the "for worse" first... Now it is finally time for us to enjoy the "for better"!!

xxxxx Eternal Love 595

Evil Clowns Need Love Too...

Have you met them? These men who are incredibly intelligent and charming... and I suppose there are women like that too? Wonderful people - they are your perfect match in all areas and youthink: "Finally I found my soulmate!"
You are perfect together. He is also caring, loving and understanding. You feel safe. You open up. You lay your heart in his hand and if you're not careful, you become dependant of this person. Addicted to his attention, love and care. Then everything starts to slip a little bit.
He knows he has you... So he doesn't need to work so hard for it anymore. He knows you love him, so he doesn't have to be nice all the time.
This is the point where you start getting confused. Suddenly he changes? So what have you done wrong? This is also where your alarm should start ringing. Most women just goes on, pretending not to hear the alarm, they start to work to get back what they experienced in the beginning.
They try to please the partner as good as they can, sort out the misunderstandings, be "nice, nice, nice"... But instead it gets worse and worse, NOTHING works.
Once in a while you still see his charming old self. Specially when friends are present. But most of the time he is angry, jealous and controling. And it makes you sad, scared and feeling small.
And what have you done wrong, you know he is really good... because you saw him in the beginning, you KNOW he is really nice. Somewhere deep inside him he has a heart of gold.
I have ONE advice: Get out of there, girl!! He is empty, and what you saw in the beginning was an act. Maybe evil clowns need love too... But I am certainly not the one to give it to them!!

The blessings of being human...

Do I need to leave my family?

Big family crisis. Me and my cousin have had big problems for years, having had to listen to how our aunts talk about the other one of us.

Finally we have had enough. We can't take it anymore. It should not be neccesary to teach grown-up ladies how it is bad to gossip and lie about their younger relatives? And how it is bad to just assume things without even asking us what is the truth... or how we feel?

Had a long talk with my cousin yesterday and got to hear how my relatives still regard me as a fat stubborn gum-chewing brat. Naive, thoughtless and lazy. it really really broke my heart. I am just so disappointed.

Maybe I have spent enough of my time trying to please them. Let them do their thing and I can do mine. If they can't see who and what I am, it should be THEIR problem, right?

Isn't it a bit strange that in Egypt I have parents, siblings, husband and nieces that have known me for around three years... and who love me and accept me for who I am? My Norwegian family have had 28 years to TRY and get to know me... Well, so far noone bothered.

I am sorry, but now... I'm living my own life.

Egyptian Afterglow

It is raining in my heart. My sixth journey to Egypt came to an end. It is horrible to leave. I was hit by nausea and breathing problems in the airport. I nearly asked the driver to turn around.

To leave the one you love always feel bad I guess. Trouble is, I don't know if I see him again after four weeks - or after ten?

I will try to look at the bright side. I have made excellent preparations for when I'm moving down to live there. I know I am safe now. I know it is going to happen.

The dream is coming true, I am going to live with my love in the middle of what was once ancient Thebes..

It is worth it. It s worth the struggle and the trouble. And I hope one day all of you will join me in watching the sun going down over the Theban hills, while you are having tea on my roof terrace.

Nadiyya is ... Going home!!!

Nadiyya is going home. Home to where the prayers call is waking her up 4 o'clock in the morning. She will turn around in the bed and sleep some more, knowing that Allah will look after her as well.

She is going home to a city of wonders, where she is walking the streets between donkeys and horse-carriages, and where the kids go to school on camel-back.

Every day the sun smiles over Egypt's blue sky. Every day the Nile splits the desert in two.

...Nadiyya is putting her heart back where it belongs....

See ya!

(will blog occasionally from internet cafes the following two weeks :)

Golden Triangle - Sexuality

How much have you explored your sexuality? I have had a threesome - once... Was not really planning to do that, but anyway, this is the story about how I stumbled into that situation. I had just moved out from my ex-boyfriend, and was lucky enough to have Josie around. A crazy and friendly girl who welcomed me into her home and took care of me.

After two weeks of moaning and whining Josie decided it was about time I had some fun. So we went to a city about two hours drive from where we lived. I was not very keen on the idea, but she gave me enough wine to change my mind...

On the way I sent a message to the only person I knew in that city; my ex boyfriend's baby sister, if she wanted to meet me? She texted me back; "Ok, if you'll join me and my boyfriend in a threesome"? I said yes, was sure that she was joking! She was not.

So after visiting a bar or two we ended up in a hotel bed together. Linda, Billy and me. Let's just say it was a VERY hot night, and I was blushing in the hotel lobby the next morning. Then I took a deep breath and hummed; "How bad can it be - It's just sexuality...?"

Childhood Memories that Hurts 2

Not all memories from our childhood are happy. That does not mean that we need to forget them. But we need to take another look at them - to release all the pain, sorrow and guilt that we have stored there.

Do you remember how evil choldren can be towards each other? I do. I remember how it was to be the "scapegoat" on a small school with only 30 pupils. It was not exactly fun...

I will give you one example. The other kids hid their own things in my bag, and then they told the teacher; My new pen is gone. I think Nadiyya stole it. Have a look in her bag."

Even today I have a feeling of guilt if someone says they lost something. I think they are about to accuse me of stealing it. Fabulous, or what?

All of us have scars like that. Dig up your memories. Look at them, bless them, and release them! Let go of the bad thoughts you have about yourself - the ones that others put there many years ago. It is time to set yourself free!!!

The one who plays with the Wolf...

Why... are many of us womes so self-destructive? When we meet a man that obviously will do nothing but break our heart - what do we do? Shrug our shoulders and turn our backs? Oh no. We place a bait. We want the beast to find us and then to fall into our trap.

Little red Riding hood thinks, that if she shows the black wolf that she trusts him - then HE will trust HER too... maybe confide in her... And then she can help him get rid of his darkness, and become the happy loving pet she is sure he truly is.

Well, mark my words. He may lick your hand - but he will never wag his tail.

The one who plays with the wolf - must prepare to be eaten in the end.

...And then he went back home...

I once went to a clairvoyant healer... During our session she suddenly said: We are not alone here, you have a brother who follows you, he is tall and blonde with curly hair...
And I said: That's right, I have a brother, he is 22, tall and blonde.
She laughed... Not him, you have a brother who was supposed to be born two years after him. His name is Elias. But he is with you, close to you. He watces over you. He grew up in heaven or, as we say, the other side... He is really radiant. Loving soul. You are lucky, she said.

I asked my mum. Her face was really funny... We had a match; She had an abortion two years after my brother was born. He was concieved... And then he went back home. Changed his mind. Was not ready.

Two years later I visited a second clairvoyant. She is channeling. She said: You have a brother who is watching over you. And he allows me to tell you a secret; He will come back to the earth - as your son.

Wonderful news! Welcome back Elias - I love you already.

The Pranic Diet!

Take a deep breath...

What is prana? Prana is the universal energy, sheer life force, the layer of love that covers our planet.

Pranic energy is what makes our bodies and minds balanced. It is found in nature, in forests and oceans, It is found in healthy food, in a loving relationship, and in exercise.

A few tips for more prana and happier days:

1 Eat one fruit or vegetable. Or five! But one is much better than none - your body loves organic food.

2: Keep in touch with nature! take a walk in the forest or on the beach. Not possible? Then use your park. Not possible? Then talk to your plants.

3: Give your loved ones compliments. Fill them with positive energy and it will flow back to you. Lonely? Smile to someone. Pet a dog.

4: Move! Moving your body, sweating and exercising lets negativity out of your body.

5: Look for beauty! There is beauty in all things. When you can see it everywhere, you will become more beautiful, happy and confident.

Do this every day and I promise your life will be a lot happier :)

Baghdad Burning!

Do you remember Riverbend? She is living in the war, and she is writing it! Girl blogging from inside Baghdad. All of us know about the war in Iraq, We hear about it every week - in periods every day.

But what do we know about it? Well we have seen some pictures... We have read a some facts. But what do we really know?? What do we know compared to Riverbend - who sees the occupation of her country, her city, her home and her life 24/7 ?

I read her blog from the book. Now I stop by her site regularly. The latest post is old. Who knows what River is doing today... hopefully she's just having computer problems...

What do I know about the war? What do I know about fear? What do I know about freedom?

I learned something new from Riverbend's blog; That I know very very little...!

http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com

The Description of Egypt

Who hasn't heard about Egypt? Who hasn't seen pictures of the magnificent temples and pyramids? And the beaches and diving resorts by the Red Sea? And all of this is truly amazing. But Egypt is so much more!

I came to Egypt first time in 2005 with the pharaos in mind. I was going to stay there for three months. Seeing the most important tourist sites took two weeks. And there I was. I had not yet discovered the heart of this strange country.

I found that Egypt is also the desert. An ocean of barren isolation. To fall to sleep in the sand, counting shooting stars, was for me an amazing experience.

Egypt is The Nile. The eternal flow of water from the heart of Africa. The lifeline of this country from ancient times until today. Still birds and animals cool down and drink on the banks of this river - The mother of all egyptians.

Egypt is The people too. You are surrounded by openness and friendliness. I had to put all prejudices aside. This people opened their hearts and homes to me, and welcomed me as one of their own.

Now, Egypt is my life. It is my home. The people there are my family. And I can't wait to stay there full time!

Come visit!

DO you remember your dreams?

Do you remember what you dream at night?

Are you one of us who think we don't dream at all? The trick is : focus on it! Make it important, make it a matter of discussion; what did I dream, and what does this mean?

Keep a notebook by your bed. A s a writer, I almost fall asleep with the pen in my hand, so that part is easy. And then...

Wake up before you really have to! If you are in a hurry to jump out of bed and rush to work, your dreams won't stick!

Let us try an experiment! Let us ask a question tonight; let us ask a question and see what our dreams will answer!! It won't hurt, will it?

Visit the Dream Factory:

http://www.vgb.no/26094

Extremely obese...

I myself have been struggling with weight problems all my life. This is why I get very curious when I hear about TV-shows like the ones we have seen lately... Fat Camp, extremely obese et cetera.

Why, and how, do people get that fat? How did I become fat? Of course the answer to that question is very obvious: I ate too much and did not move enough. But then - Why??

When I was a kid, I was much more of a thinker than a doer, I was always asking questions like why - and how, how does it work, what is that for. So that is why my father taught me how to read when I was four.

I wanted challenges for my mind - not for the body. The other kids were out chasing each other, playing ball and climbing trees - for me this was unbelievably boring. So I was reading, reading, reading.

The real problem started when I was around ten. I was to a healthcare check and the nurse said: Better look out for that girl, she is a little heavy for her age! I cried myself to sleep that night.

My parents then started to control my eating, and to comment on eating behaviour, body proportions and lack of exercise. I was still a child - and I panicked.

I started to feel bad about myself. Reading was bad - and that was what I loved doing. So I started to hide. Take my book and hide somewhere to read - in the garden, in the bathroom or with relatives. eating was bad too - so I got really fucked - up feelings towards it. I started to hide food and by twelve I was a compulsive eater.

Well to make a long story short - it all went all right, I went into selfrealization and spirituality when I was 25 and got rid of my problems.

But that is what I think when I see these programmes: "It might as well have been me..." I know what it is to loose control.

For those of you who have children: Please teach them about health and healthy living! But don't comment on their bodies and don't deny them to be who they truly are! The consequenses can be fatal.

7 random facts... about me!

I was tagged by Lauren (Backseat Betty blog) - and finally I get around to do this! Kisses to Lauren...

1. I want many children! Three as a minimum and five at the most. As I push 29 and still have none, I have to hurry? ... Luckily I am the aunt of five beautiful girls.

2. Young boys are my weakness! Yes it is true, I adore teenage boys - not as sexual partners - I mean as friends and conversation partners, They are open and curious. :) By the way - my husband is nineteen. That leads me to:

3. I am a holist married to a muslim. Do I need to comment any further? Let's just say: It's interresting!!

4. My car is called : Conan the Barbarian and is a 1988 Subary justy 4wd! Tiny but strong! Happy nineteenth birthday, Conan!!

5. I feel strongly about The Children of the World. As I am moving to Luxor, Egypt, I am happy and proud to be able to help orphans and disabled children through www.luxor4care.org

6. "I believe I can fly..." I believe I have a contact with my dear ones who have passed away, my unborn children and my spiritual guises. I believe that WE ARE... We are God also! I am a very spiritual person.

7. I am a poet! I have now written more than 100 poems - in norwegian, that is - and hope to publish a book during this fall. It is maybe to be called "Guillotine - You are standing in the shadow of a lady"

Thanks for tagging Lauren! And hereby I tag:

Hedoorientia - from Orientia in Saudi

Rockarollawoman - from Baklengs verden

Fly - ying blog

Kess from Rants and Musings

Jozee from straw Houses

Ladybird from Ladies Way

Johnny from Typically Awesome

Good luck folks, Enjoy!!

To loose a Soulmate... (To find oneself...)

A lot of our friends said we were like "One person"... And we were! We were like you!

When we met my world turned upside down. It started rotating in your direction. Even before I knew your name you made my heart beat faster every time I saw you on the street. When someone finally told me, I kept your name in my heart. First time you spoke to me, I thought it had to be some kind of misunderstanding.

You invited me to your place, and I came, filled with awe. We had everything in common, and destiny had finally brought us together. I was the only one who understood you. I was the chosen one.

This was sacred.

I shared your bed at night, and didn't sleep. I spent the night watching you, and listening to the sound of your breath.

One year was the exact time. Then I did what you did not want me to. I followed my heart. My young God changed into demon and the curses rained upon me.

Then the search started. Who was I - without you? What was my life without your visions? What was MY thoughts and opinions when I threw off yours?

The result is maybe not so spectacular. But it is real, it is mine!

It is me.

Meditation

What is meditation? Meditation is stillness. It is quietness. Are you able to sit in a room for one hour - with no music on, no TV or radio? Light a candle. Sit in a chair. Stay there. Stop moving your legs. Stop playing with your fingers. Are you able to stay still?

Close your eyes. Breathe. Breathe deep. What does your mind do then? It starts to churn about all your worries. Relax. Breathe. Breathe deep.

With every breath, you let your worries out of your body. Empty your mind. Let all those thoughts gently go.

Breathe.

Sink into your body.

Breathe.

Then rise above it.

Breathe.

What do you hear?

Quiet.

Breathe.

What do you hear?

Breathe.

A whisper from God and a song from your soul.

Hold my Body - Free My Soul!

Let us talk about sexual Healing. I believe that for twy physical bodies to exchange eneries like this is very healthy. No doubt it is natural - without sex there would be very few of us here in a very short time, but I think it is more healthy than we think - and in other ways.

First aspect is the physical exhaustion. Everyone knows how healthy THAT is! Then it is the meeting of two persons. The communication. The composition. It is the effort to please someone else. It is the pleasure of being touched.

And it is the emotions.

I think that a healthy partner relationship and a balanced sexlife makes us a lot happier and healthier. So give and recieve - today!

Let your Dreams Speak!

Do you remember what you dream at night? Do you think it means anything? Why is your mind rolling these movies in your big inner theatre?

You dream that you are seated on the floor with a big Jigsaw-puzzle in front of you. You are getting more and more frustrated. In a rage you call your boss, accusing him of stealing pieces. He says to you: "But the pieces are here, you left them on your desk".

What does this mean? Suggestion: You are trying to "Put your life together" You have some work-related problems thate you blame your boss for. But somehow it seems YOU made these problems, you have just forgotten. When you understand WHY you have certain problems, you are also able to fix it, and this is why noticing and interpreting dreams is so useful.

I believe that dreams are communication with your subconcious, your higher self, and even the spirits surrounding you. And I believe that every dream you understand, leads you closer to your true self and your highest potentials.

If you have had a dream you need help with, please send me an e-mail or visit my Dream factory!

Your dreams are a staircase to your highest potentials ;)

http://www.vgb.no/26094

Naked in hijab

Never so naked

Never so volunerable

As when I face you

As I stand before you

Naked in hijab.

For a Reason, for a Season, or for a Lifetime.

Has it ever occured to you the different natures of your friendships? If you are lucky, you have a few friends that you have known from birth. Maybe you have siblings and cousins that also are your friends, or the girl next door, or the boy from kindergarden.

Have you thought about why your friends are there?

Some friends happen to enter your life just in the right time. Exactly when you need help and are struggelig with something... The right person appears, stands by you and supports you - and then disappears from your life again after.

Other friends are there for a season - Like maybe a colleague you could talk to about anything, but after you got a new job, you just didn't manage to keep in touch.

And then there are friends that are there for a lifetime. These are your true soulmates, the ones you feel safe and natural with, even after years apart from each other. I am lucky to have a few of these... and I thank God for the blessings that they truly are.

Remember to keep in touch with your friends! Send them a message or a postcard once in a while. They deserve it, and so do you.

( Picture: Linda Sloan. Linda and me in Deir-el-medina 2007)

Young boys are my Weakness

"Young boys are my weakness - I just like their sweetness..." This is a song by Kate Cebrano. A wonderful song that suits me perfectly. Young boys are my weakness - and so I married one. A wonderful young , sweet and loving man. Time runs fast and he is not a boy anymore, but he still has a lot of that sweetness in him.

It was wonderful to meet a man with such an open heart. A man that the world had not yet hardened. A man who was not afraid to pour out his feelings for me in words and in action. That has made our love especially warm. That has made our relationship extra strong.

To my beloved Ahmed : Thank you for being you that wants to be with me :) Hugs and kisses from your wife.

Love from hell - Spirituality and Sin.

Spirituality is for some reason viewed by christians as sin. I have talked to people several times who believe me to be from hell...

Why? Because I aknowledge my own wisdom, my own greatness and my own power. And that is just not right, is it?

You are supposed to be small, to be a sinful nothing, who are forgiven even though you don't deserve it. Well, if you want to be a nothing in this life... be my guest! We have our free will, that is our privilege.

But I intend to recognice myself as big, actually as HUGE.... And through me flows unlimited love and light... If you don't want to share it, and if you don't want to shine, it is up to you. Just close your eyes and pretend it's still dark. It is your desicion...

... Because You are GOD also.

http://www.lotus-foundation.com/

Who are You working for??

Who are you working for? Work for yourself. Who gets to enjoy the fruits of your talents - and are you working with what your talents really are?

Do you even know what your talents are?

Have you ever considered running your own business? You have all the ingredients needed. You have the drive and the discipline.

You have all the ingredients needed, so let's start cooking!! Do not have fear. Ask for help. You will recieve all the guidance needed, to make your dream come true.

Animal Heaven

( This post is dedicated to my beloved dog Pia - We'll meet again.)

There is a beautiful place somewhere... Somewhere out in the blue. You see it from afar like a castle of clouds, surrounded by green lush fields. There are creeks, there are flowers everywhere, there are trees and the sun is always shining.

When tou come closer you see the animals. They are everywhere, cats climb the trees, horses run in the fields, there are no fences, and no ropes here. In the creek you see jumping fish of all colours. All of them are healthy. All of them are HAPPY.

Suddenly you hear a familiar voice. A happy barking, that you could recognise anywhere! Your eyes well up with tears, your dog, your dearest companion, that left you so long ago.

Believe in this place. Believe in the Animal Heaven. All your pets are waiting for you there, and they will be reunited with you. Believe in it.

You are God also!

YOU ARE...

You just are. That makes you nothing. That makes you everything. Let go of your roleplaying. Just be.

Balance...

Means love, inner peace and acceptance.

Wisdom...

Is when you accept everything that occurs in your life, when you embrace it as opportunities to grow and learn.

Meditation...

Is accepting that everything you want and need, everything you seek, is already there, inside you.

Spirituality...

Is seeing beyond the ordinary, and to climb as high as you can dream.

www.lotus-foundation.com

Your Healing Heart.

It is beating in your chest, the drum that gives you the pace of your incarnation, and the energy centre close to it is conducting your balance of giving and recieving.

Open it and let your healing love flow. Let it be like a river that flows from the universe, through your heart, out into your arms and fingertips, where it is yours to give, surround yourself with a atmosphere of love, health and harmony.

Help others around you . Retrieve balance in their chacras and energy layers. Just by sending your powerful love energy, you can heal them. It is not witchcraft, it is not magic, it is pure compassion, and recognition that your two souls are one.

Use your power. Believe in this: That you are willing makes you able. Use the energy of joy! Smile! And activate your healing heart.

Someone's following You

All of us have friends that we don't see. We have our guardian angels that follows us from the day we decide to incarnate. We have relatives that come by to see how we are doing.

Don't believe it? Try asking for help when you need it! Wait for the answer. Maybe it shows up as a practical solution, or someone felt a sudden urge to call you and give you an advice. Or someone gives you a newspaper and you find your answer on the front page. Maybe you recieve a vision in your dreams the next day. You are being helped!

All of us have a 24 hour free access help-line available, if we only know how to use it. This line is never busy. So just send out your question. And wait for the answer.

If you only knew, if you knew the love we have for you, how we rejoice when you succeed and with what compassion and understanding we surround you, you would never feel lonely, and never fear.

"Sparrow's Egg" ... on abortion

This happened when I was a child. I was playing in the forest with a boy of same age. After a while we found a sparrows nest in a tree. We stood under the nest looking up at it. We saw the birds close by, but they kept a distance as long as we stood there.

Then my friend decided he wanted to climb up to look into the nest. He did. He toughed the nest. Told me the eggs felt warm, he asked me: Do you want to see?

I did. He brought me the egg and I closed my hand very carefully around it. He was right. It was warm. "Take it back" I said and wanted to give him the egg. But instead he squeezed my hand. I cried out. I felt the egg crush in my hand.

I opened it and saw a tiny naked bird. It moved a little. and I could see it's hart beat beneath the pink skin. I cried and cried. In the end he took it and threw it in the creek.

I am not against abortion. But it's certainly nothing for me.

Sweet and Sour Sauce

A special friendship. How many times have you held my hand and looked into my eyes. How many times have you told me, with your warm and smiling voice - That of course can I trust you? And then, how many times did you break that promise? You hurt me just to comfort me, and then you hurt me again.

It is a suspicious way of trusting, it is a sad kind of love, but anyway we have shared so much and we have learned so much from each other. We had so much fun.

Our friendship has been beautiful - like figure skating - on very thin ice.

I need to leave you. Anyway I want to thank you. Good luck, I'm moving on.